Lost
by brucksbabe
Summary: In the aftermath of a pirate attack, Obi-Wan feels disconected from Qui-Gon. When the loneliness becomes too much, what's a boy to do? NOT SLASH
1. Too Much

Author's Note: At this point, the story's a song fic, but I don't know if it'll stay that way or even change songs in the upcoming chapters. Disclamer: I don't own anything you recognize. The characters belong to George Lucas and the song's Creed's. Lines form on my face and hands  
  
Lines form from the ups and downs  
  
I'm in the middle without any plans  
  
I'm a boy and I'm a man  
  
Obi-Wan Kenobi looked hard at his reflection in the mirror, trying to recall a time when he hadn't born the scars of his chosen career. The five years since Qui-Gon had taken him as an apprentice seemed like so many more, and he couldn't imagine life without his master by his side. His hand reached up, tracing the scar running across his cheek, and he sighed. The scar would, with the right treatment, heal, but he would forever remember the terror of the vibro blade crashing down on him. All to protect some Senator on the way back to his home planet. True, the pirates hadn't attacked because the Senator asked them to, but he certainly hadn't been much of a help. He had become angry when Obi-Wan had dared to bleed on him, and had even attempted to force Qui-Gon to make him tea before stabilizing his dying apprentice.  
  
Now, halfway to their destination, Obi-Wan questioned his master's decision to continue. The Senator was rude, self centered, and arrogant. He didn't see why they owed him any favors, especially after the way he had treated them in the aftermath of the pirate attack.  
  
I'm eighteen  
  
and I don't know what I want  
  
Eighteen  
  
I just don't know what I want  
  
Eighteen  
  
I gotta get away  
  
I gotta get out of this place  
  
I'll go running in outer space  
  
Oh yeah  
  
At eighteen, Obi-Wan felt more lost than he ever had. Even more lost than he had when he had left the Jedi on Melida/Daan. The man he called Master seemed to have become a whole different person, changing from the man he revered as a father to a cold, distant stranger who seemed to want nothing to do with him. Obi-Wan had tried to understand the sudden change, to come to terms with having his close connection to his Master ripped away for no reason he could fathom. He couldn't bear the situation any longer, and he had begun to consider running away as the only way out. Shaking his head as if too clear away such thoughts, he pulled a knife out of a small leather pouch he wore inside his tunic and held it up, examining it. He had received the knife from his parents when he left for the Temple as a baby. How fitting, he thought, that my last reminder of the life I could have had will be the end of the one I'm living. Raising the knife high in the air, he brought it down.  
  
**PLEASE Review, I want to know if I should keep going!!** 


	2. Goodbye

Author's Note: I know last chapter was really short, but it really felt like the right place to stop. Hopefully, the cliffhanger will encourage a few people to read on. I couldn't bear to leave you in suspense much longer, so I decided to post again quickly. I could never kill Ben.  
  
I got a  
  
baby's brain and an old man's heart  
  
Took eighteen years to get this far  
  
Don't always know what I'm talking about  
  
Feels like I'm living in the middle of doubt  
  
Obi-Wan looked down at his hand, as if in disbelief. There, clutched tightly in his fist, was his Padawan braid. The braid that represented his apprenticeship and his bond with his Master. It was no longer a part of him, and he no longer deserved to wear it. His bond with his master had disappeared in the aftermath of the attack, and he knew that if he left now, his apprenticeship would be over, but he simply could not bear this odd brand of loneliness any longer. He knew that he was acting in a foolish and reckless manner, and he knew his master would be quite displeased if he failed and managed to get caught, but he just couldn't see another way out. Leaving his braid and his lightsaber on his bed, he shouldered his pack and palmed open the door. Once outside of his room, he hurried, head down, to the escape pods. He had calculated earlier that there were three more escape pods than would be needed in an emergency, so he knew that his decision would not put anyone in danger, even if the worst should come to pass. Unless, of course, more pirates attack and your Master needs you to help defend the ship. Obi-Wan shook his head. His Master didn't need him. He'd already proved his incompetence in battle once on this mission, and had almost succeeded in getting himself killed. If there was one thing his Master didn't need, it was an incompetent Padawan wandering around distracting him from the mission at hand. Qui-Gon had said as much.  
  
**"Master, I don't see why we have to help this man." Obi-Wan's voice was angry. He had only been released from the hospital on the small backwater planet they had been forced to land on after the attack the day before, and he certainly didn't feel up to traveling yet, but his Master had just informed him that they would be continuing their journey in only a few hours. "He's been nothing but difficult, and he doesn't even need to go back. He only wants to return to watch the splashboard finals. We should just take him back to Coruscant and be done with it." Qui-Gon shot his Padawan a disappointed look before responding. "I know he has been rude to you, but you are not handling this situation as a Jedi. Look into the Force. I do not know why, but it wants us to continue." Obi-Wan lost his temper then. "The Force doesn't want us to continue, you do. The Force is telling me that something is definitely wrong here, but you, for some reason, refuse to see it." As what he had just said sunk in, Obi-Wan gaped in horror. He had never, in all of his apprenticeship, spoken to Qui-Gon with such disrespect. Qui-Gon reached out without thinking and slapped his Padawan. The slap was not hard, but it was the first time Qui-Gon had ever physically punished his apprentice. The two simply looked at each other, identical looks of shock on their faces. Finally, Qui-Gon spoke, "Get out of my sight. If you decide you want to be a Jedi again, I'll be in my quarters. Otherwise, I don't want to see you for the rest of the trip." He then turned away, and Obi-Wan was long gone before he turned back.**  
  
I spent eighteen years working towards where I am now, and I lost control of my temper once and threw it all away. How could I have been so stupid? Obi-Wan thought as he punched the access code into one of the escape pods. The door slid open, and he slipped inside. Once in, he began examining the readouts on the screen, and chose a small planet only a few light years away. Detaching from the main ship, he began to pilot the small pod.  
  
Back on the ship, Qui-Gon sat in his quarters in shock. What had gotten in to Obi-Wan? Something was obviously wrong with the boy, as he had never behaved in such a manner before, but Qui-Gon couldn't imagine what it was. The boy had been injured, but that had happened before and he had never reacted in such a manner to continuing a mission. Qui-Gon began to wonder if something else was the matter. Perhaps I was too harsh with the boy. I allowed myself to react to his anger, instead of remaining calm. For all his bravado, he is still only a boy, and sometimes I seem to forget that. No matter how good he is with his saber, he's only eighteen, and sometimes he will lose control of his emotions. As his Master, it's my job to guide him through these times, not yell at him. Berating himself for his harshness, Qui-Gon stood up and crossed the room, knocking on the door separating his room from his Padawan's. When he received no response, he pushed the door open, fully expecting it to be locked. It wasn't, and he was surprised to find it empty. Not only was his Padawan not in his room, but his bag was gone, as were the clothes that usually littered the floor of any room Obi-Wan so much as spent the night in. Looking around, he had almost decided the room was completely empty before something on the bed caught his eye. Lying neatly in the center on top of a flimsy data sheet were Obi-Wan's lightsaber and the remains of his Padawan braid. Picking up the data sheet, he read it quickly.  
  
You said you didn't want to see me again until I was ready to behave as a Jedi, but I honestly don't know how to fix whatever's wrong with me. I suppose this is good-bye, as I'll probably never see you again. I'm sorry I failed you. Please forgive me.  
Sincerely,  
Obi-Wan Kenobi "My son, my beloved son. Oh what have I done?" Sinking to his knees in the middle of the floor, Qui-Gon began to cry, crying the tears of a father who has just lost his only son.  
  
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	3. Found

Author's Note- I know I haven't posted in forever, but I lost my new email address and haven't been getting any ff.net mail, so I thought no one was reading. When I tried to check my email yesterday, I was surprised to find several people were indeed reading. In case you don't remember, single / denotes private thoughts while denotes messages along the Master/Padawan bond. Now to answer my reviews: Makoto: Qui-Gon had just realized what a mistake he had made. He was worried about Obi-Wan was why he was going to talk to him, and the two of them are very close. I'm assuming that any parent who's child has just run away because of something they regret doing to them would be upset. Part of his grief stems from the fact that he blames Obi-Wan's leaving on himself. Philomena- Here's a long chapter, just for you! Now, on with the story!  
  
/Where am I?/ Obi-Wan looked around in confusion. He had dosed off in front of the control panel in the escape pod. Suddenly the events of the day before came rushing back to him. He leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the view screen and sighed. /I just want to go home./ He thought, wishing fervently that that were possible. He knew, however, that it was not to be. He had done things he knew his Master would never forgive him for. /Better to run now than to face the humiliation later./ Obi-Wan thought morosely. Over the past few weeks, tension had been building between Obi-Wan and his Master, and after the pirate attack and the events immediately following he had begun to seriously doubt his place at his master's side. It seemed that all they ever did anymore was fight, and Obi-Wan desperately wanted his Master back.  
Normally, when something was upsetting him, he went straight to Qui- Gon. Without that lifeline to hang onto, Obi-Wan had felt cut adrift long before he even considered cutting off his braid. Looking down at the blinking light on the control panel, Obi-Wan realized it was time to exit hyperspace and pulled out, thoughts completely on the moment, at least for now.  
  
Qui-Gon Jinn strode through the hallways purposefully. The crewmembers that saw him immediately retreated, unsure of what he was doing but knowing from the look on his face that it was important. When he reached the corridor where the escape pods were located, he walked up to the computer and entered the override code the captain had given to him. He then checked the escape pod registry, and was not surprised to find that one of the pods had departed just an hour before. /Oh Padawan, I'm so sorry. I promise I'll find you and make this up to you somehow./ Tapping a few more keys, he found what he was looking for. The pods had tracking devices that enabled the main ship to follow them no matter where they went. He keyed in the identification number for the pod Obi-Wan had evidently left in, and waited. Qui-Gon exhaled a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding as the coordinates and path of the pod came into view. Obi-Wan would soon be landing. Qui-Gon gasped slightly as he checked the readouts to be sure they were accurate. /Why does he never read the material I give him before missions? I only hope I can reach him in time./ The planet Obi-Wan was headed for was a dangerous one, notorious for its hatred of humanoids and extreme dislike of intruders. If the government of the planet found him, Obi-Wan would almost certainly be killed. Shaking his head, Qui-Gon turned and headed for the cockpit, trying to reach Obi- Wan through their bond as he walked. Padawan? Obi, please answer me!Qui-Gon frowned at the strength of the shields he encountered. He had been afraid that the boy had severed their bond, but this total shielding wasn't much of an improvement over the alternative. Resolved that he had to reach his Padawan whatever the cost, Qui-Gon tried again. Little one, are you alright? It's Qui-Gon, and I know you're angry, but you're in danger. DO NOT LAND. Please Padawan, hear me. You've got to trust meKnowing he had done his best but without any idea if he had succeeded or not, Qui-Gon quickened his pace, determined to reach the cockpit as soon as possible.  
  
Little one, are you alright? It's Qui-Gon, and I know you're angry, but you're in danger. DO NOT LAND. Please Padawan, hear me. You've got to trust meObi-Wan was shocked to feel the words through the bond he shared with his Master. The man didn't sound angry or upset, but even worse, sad and disappointed. Obi-Wan hadn't meant to disappoint his Master! He would have heeded the command, but unfortunately it had come as he touched the ship down on the planet's surface. He knew the ship didn't have the power to lift off again and clear the planet's gravitational pull, but he tried anyway. Much to Obi-Wan's surprise, the thrusters wouldn't even start. /I guess I'm stuck here until someone finds me then./ Obi-Wan thought, wondering why his Master hadn't wanted him to land. Whatever the reason, he knew that it must have been important, and began to plan out his next course of action. /If whatever my master warned me about saw me land, it might come after me, and if I'm still near the pod I'll be easy to track. On the other hand, if I'm going to leave I have to have some kind of trail Qui-Gon can follow to find me, or I could get lost forever.Obi-Wan snorted to himself. What am I thinking? There's no way Master will come after me, not after everything I've done. He probably warned me just to be courteous. This whole thing started because my health was being put after the mission. There's no way he'd risk it now just to save me.Obi-Wan frowned. He wanted to cry, but he knew he had more important things to do at the moment. Gathering up the survival equipment in the small pod, he headed for the shelter of the forest, then turned. /Figure out what your enemy expects, then do the opposite./ Qui-Gon's lesson came back to him. It had been two years before, and they had been talking about fighting, but Obi-Wan figured it was good advice for running as well. Heading instead towards what seemed to be some sort of wheat field, Obi-Wan focused on creating a force shield around himself. Qui-Gon had taught him force shields a year before after he had suffered a brutal attack traveling in a small colony that forbid the ownership of weapons. Those rules obviously hadn't applied to his attackers, and Obi-Wan had nearly been killed. Qui-Gon had then decided that it was time to teach Obi-Wan to use the force to protect himself. It had taken Obi-Wan months to learn the shields, and he wasn't sure that he could construct one in his current physical condition, but he knew he had to try. Having left his lightsaber on the ship, he was completely unarmed and would be a sitting duck should the beings Qui-Gon seemed to fear find him. Center, PadawanQui-Gon's voice in his head was strong and comforting, and Obi-Wan wondered if it had been only a memory or if his Master had really spoken. Checking his shields, Obi-Wan realized that he had unconsciously let some of the ones he had erected as he left down, and wondered if his Master had or would contact him again. The here and now Obi, the here and now. You can worry about your mental shields later. Right now lets focus on your physical onesObi-Wan gaped in wonder. It was his Master! Master?Obi-Wan's voice was hesitant, but his Master's reply was full of joy. Little one? Are you there? I didn't know if I was getting through to you or if you would answer even if I were. Obi-Wan, did you do your reading on the surrounding planets before we left port?His Master's voice was gentle, but Obi-Wan knew he would be displeased with his answer. Obi-Wan took a deep breath. Yes, well sort of. I read some of it.In truth, he had read about two pages, but he hoped his Master wouldn't ask. How much Padawan?Qui-Gon's voice held a hint of steel now; he had asked Ob-Wan before they departed if he'd finished the reading and the boy had assured him that it was complete. Umm...about the first two pages.Obi-Wan winced at the quickly censored anger and disappointments he felt through he bond. I'm sorry Master!He added quickly. I got distracted.Obi-Wan's mental voice was barely more than a whisper now, and he almost hoped Qui-Gon hadn't heard him. Distracted? By what, or should I say who?No such luck. Although Qui- Gon was shielding his apprentice from the bulk of his anger, traces of his annoyance slipped through, and Obi-Wan sighed. The stewardess has a son, as does the captain. We're all about the same age and we spent a lot of time just sort of hanging out.More than once they had done their hanging out in a bar, but Obi-Wan had no intention of telling his Master that. As it turned out, he didn't have to. I was well aware of where you were, Padawan. The whole time. You never had enough to actually get drunk, and since you had supposedly finished your reading and other exercises, I chose to overlook it. Evidently that was a mistake on my part.The rebuke in Qui-Gon's words and the disappointment in his voice cut Obi- Wan straight to the core. /How could I've been so stupid? I lied to my Master. I LIED TO MY MASTER!!!!!! What kind of an apprentice does that? It's against the code. If he was going to take me back before, he sure won't now./ Obi-Wan's musings were cut short by a sound behind him. A tractor! "Oh, Sith!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. Not knowing what else to do, he stood there, waiting to see where the vehicle was coming from. Before he knew it, the tractor was in sight, and the inhabitant calling out to him. "Hey! You boy! What do you think you're doing out here?" The man stopped the tractor and climbed down, taking a length of rope from the cab of the vehicle. When he reached Obi-Wan, he spoke curtly. "Turn around, hands behind your back, no funny stuff. Got it?" Obi-Wan nodded and turned, waiting patiently as the man bound his hands. He was then guided into the cab of the tractor, and they set out towards where Obi-Wan could only assume the man's home was. He thought about using the Force to unfasten the ropes binding his hands, but seeing no chance of escape even if he could use his hands, he decided to wait until absolutely necessary to reveal his abilities. Without his saber or his braid and dressed in civilian clothes, Obi-Wan knew the man wouldn't realize he was a Jedi, even if he knew what one was. /Thank the world for small miracles./ Obi-Wan thought with a sigh. He wondered where the man was taking him. He sensed a great deal of fear coming from his captor, but fear of him or of where they were going he wasn't entirely sure. The man seemed determined and resolute, but almost as if he were doing something he didn't want to.  
  
Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan where are you? Answer me Padawan!Qui-Gon's voice became frantic. If Obi-Wan wasn't answering, that probably meant that he wasn't able to. Qui-Gon knew that the Force was very common amongst the species living on the planet, and he also knew that any measure taken to restrain Obi-Wan should he be caught would be Force resistant by default. The only explanation for the abrupt ending of their conversation was that someone had found Obi-Wan and captured him. The capturer had most likely used some form of restraints that cut off the victim's connection to the Force, not even realizing they were needed. Qui-Gon turned to the Captain. "My Padawan has been captured. Is there any way we can speed up?" They were already heading back towards Obi-Wan, a fact the Senator would be most displeased about should he find out. /How could this have happened? I was concerned about the mission, and I forgot to be concerned about my Padawan. I usually sit with him the entire time he's with the healers, but the Senator demanded I spend all of my time talking to him, so he didn't get bored! My Padawan's well being or my mission's amusement, and of course I choose the mission's amusement. How could I forget, even for a moment, how important he is to me? Oh Obi-Wan, I promise I'll make this up to you./  
"She's an old ship, but I think for this I can coax a little more out of her. Your apprentice is a terrific young man. I really hope he's all right. He's been coming in here sometimes, keeping me company and such, since the attack. Fine young fellow." Qui-Gon smiled, in spite of everything. Obi-Wan had a way of touching people, even people he'd only known a short time, and affecting their lives forever. /Hang on Padawan./ Qui-Gon thought. /I'm on my way./  
  
Please review!! You get longer, better chapters if I have feedback, even if all you say is I like it or I want to know what comes next! 


	4. Safe

Author's Note- Sorry it's been so long, but I had finals. ( Now that they're over, I promise to make up for lost time. Say, an update every other day for a while?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If you sue me, you will get approximately twenty dollars. That won't pay your lawyer, so why bother?  
  
Obi-Wan looked around curiously. He wondered where he was being taken. His captor hadn't said anything beyond his original instructions regarding allowing his hands to be bound, and Obi-Wan wondered if it would be safe to ask. Deciding he had nothing to lose, he tried tentatively: "Excuse me sir, where are we going?"  
The man looked up at him in surprise. "Well that all depends. You're not from around here are you?" Obi-Wan shook his head. "Are you injured?" Obi-Wan started to shake his head, but paused, scanning his still healing ribs before nodding uncertainly.  
"I broke my ribs not to long ago, and it would appear my landing damaged them further." The concern on the mans face was evident, so he quickly added, "It's not serious, just a couple of fractures." The man gave Obi-Wan a look that suggested that he considered a "couple of fractures" to be rather serious.  
"Well, I'll either take you to a friend of mine who's a doctor, or I'll keep you hidden on the farm. If the government finds you, you could be executed, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. No one deserves what you'd go through there." The man shuddered as he spoke, as if reacting to the horrors of whatever the government might do.  
"If it's all the same to you, I could heal myself better if you just took me back to the farm. I could do chores or something to earn my keep," Obi-Wan didn't know why, but he didn't want to go to the doctor's house. Something seemed wrong about it. Attempting to tap into the Force, he found that he couldn't, and turned to his captor again. "I can't feel the Force. Why am I suddenly cut off?"  
The man looked at him for a moment, then smiled. "You're Force sensitive! I had no idea! Let me undo those ropes on your arms. I'm sorry I tied you up, but I didn't know if you were dangerous or not. I suppose if you were, you wouldn't have let me tie you up, but you kind of took me by surprise and I was a bit nervous when I approached you. How did you wind up way out here?" The man untied the ropes around Obi-Wan's wrist as he spoke. "I do believe I forgot to introduce myself earlier. My name is Jo-am."  
Obi-Wan rubbed his wrists as he spoke. "My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. I am-"Obi-Wan almost said a Jedi Apprentice but caught himself just in time. "My companion and I were delivering a Senator to his home planet to watch a sporting event, but we had a disagreement and I chose to leave." He worked to maintain a neutral expression as he spoke, but Jo-am was having none of it.  
"Was your erm, companion responsible for those broken ribs?" He spoke uncertainly, as if unsure whether or not the subject would be painful to the younger man.  
"He would never hurt me!" Obi-Wan responded angrily without thinking. Calming himself, he added, "We were attacked by pirates. My companion had nothing to do with my injuries." /He would never hurt you eh? Then why did he slap you?/ Obi-Wan shook his head as if to dispel the frightening voice. /I was out of line. I deserved what I got. I should never have spoken to Qui-Gon like that. I ruined any chance I ever had of winning back his approval, and then I had to go and run away! Of all the stupid things I've doing in my time as a Padawan, this whole mess has got to be the stupidest./ Obi-Wan blinked back the tears that were threatening to form. He had blown his chances of ever being a Jedi, and the sooner he accepted that and moved on, the better.  
"You were escorting a Senator, eh? And you're Force Sensitive. You wouldn't happen to be a Jedi, would you?" Jo-am gave him a piercing glance. He didn't seem upset or disturbed by his companion's evident origins, only curious.  
"Yes, err well I was. I had an argument with my Master and I sort of left." Obi-Wan looked down as he spoke, more ashamed than ever to have left the Jedi over an argument with his Master. They had simply disagreed on how to proceed on a mission, and he had up and left. /I'm supposed to be eighteen, not eight! How could I have behaved so irresponsibly?/  
"If anything I've heard about Jedi is true, he probably won't just leave you here stranded. I'll bet he'll come to rescue you soon, argument or no," Jo-am did his best to sound comforting, but judging by the look on the youth's face, he wasn't succeeding.  
"You don't understand. I've been being a complete brat for the passed week or so, avoiding my duties to go hang out in bars and lying to my Master about it, and then I questioned his authority and outright accused him of ignoring the force, just because I don't like the Senator. I can't believe he didn't kick me out completely," Obi-Wan's voice broke, and he turned away as he attempted to regain control of his raging emotions.  
  
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	5. Never Look Back

Author's Note: I was just looking at my story on ffn.net and I realized the italics aren't working. Not only that, but half the time the slashes don't either. It would also appear that the dividers I've been putting in when I change from Qui to Obi are disappearing. Why didn't someone tell me? From now on, I'll type thoughts and mental communications in all caps, and I'll double space between sections. I'm still going to do the italics, just to see if they work, but I don't want to confuse people who can't figure out why it's suddenly in first person. Disclaimer Oh, and I don't own anything, so please don't sue.  
  
Qui-Gon was off the ship almost before it touched down in the field. On his right was a forest, and on his left a golden, grain based crop waved in the wind. Directly in front of him, an escape pod, obviously the same make as that of the ship he had departed from, lay, looking as though the rider had at least landed smoothly. /OH OBI-WAN, WHERE ARE YOU?/ Qui-Gon looked around, trying to determine which way his Padawan had gone. He was so caught up in looking for his apprentice that he didn't sense the men behind him until it was too late.  
"Put your hands up now! Don't move or you'll be shot!" An angry voice rang out, and Qui-Gon decided it was in his best interests to obey it. Obi-Wan had been captured, and his best chance of finding him probably lay in getting captured himself. If he could somehow mind trick them into letting him keep his lightsaber, he would almost certainly be able to find his Padawan and stage an escape. Thankfully, the pilot was waiting for him in orbit, so he would have a means of transportation when he managed to escape.  
The soldiers wasted no time in binding him. As he was bound, he felt his connection to the Force being cut off, and he winced. If only he had the advantage of the Force, his escape would be assured, but it appeared that this was going to be one mission that wasn't going to cut him any slack. The last thing he saw before they blindfolded him was the face of his captor, eyes filled with hate and a slight trace of fear. Fear? What did this man have to fear from him? He was unarmed and bound, completely at his captor's mercy.  
Qui-Gon had no idea how long it took to reach the town. Blindfolded in the back of a utility swoop, unable to access the Force, he lost all concept of time. When they arrived, the soldiers roughly hauled him out of the back of the swoop and onto his feet. The soldier closest to him removed his blindfold, and he blinked for a moment as his eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight. In front of him was a majestic building, with huge windows and spires reaching up as high as the eye could see. The building looked familiar, but he couldn't place where he might have seen it before. "You will now have an audience with a judge to decide your fate. I wouldn't worry though," the man said with an evil smile, "There's absolutely no way you'll be found innocent. They never are." Qui-Gon suddenly found himself being dragged, rather roughly, towards the doors. "Make your self presentable, scum. The judge is a busy man, and this trial is far more than most strangers get. I don't see why you're so special, but five minutes of the judge's time and you'll be getting the same as everybody else. Enjoy the special treatment while it lasts, because I'm sure it won't," The man who had spoken was tall, unshaven, and stank of alcohol and spice. Qui-Gon could only hope he wasn't a standard example of soldiers on Reikalla. If he was, Qui-Gon was certain that his stay wouldn't be a pleasant one. /I HOPE OBI'S OKAY. HIS RIBS ARE STILL INJURED, AND IF A PRISON GUARD ROUGHED HIM UP.../ Qui-Gon refused to allow himself to continue that line of thought. His Padawan was FINE. If something had happened to him, Force or no, Qui-Gon would have felt it. It was said, no matter when or where, that a parent always knew when their child was in danger. Obi-Wan wasn't his child biologically, but the boy couldn't have been dearer to him even if he had been. He was certain he would have felt it if something had happened to his beloved Padawan.  
"The Judge will see you now." A voice brought him out of his thoughts. Straightening his tunic, Qui-Gon, flanked on either side by a soldier, entered the judge's chamber. Looking around, he noted the exquisite quality of the rugs and the beauty of the paintings adorning the walls. One was the building from the outside, one was the judge in front of him, and the other was...him? Qui-Gon looked at the picture again. It looked exactly like him. He gasped.  
"What do you think you're looking at scum?" The soldier to his left elbowed him in the side, causing him to wince, but he kept his gaze steady on the portrait.  
"Who is that man?" He didn't really expect an answer, but he felt that he had nothing to lose by asking.  
"That is our exalted ruler," The judge paused, looking between the painting and Qui-Gon, before adding, "who you happen to bear a striking resemblance to. Tell me, how did you come upon our planet?" He seemed curious now, more about the Jedi Master's resemblance to their "exalted ruler" than how he had arrived on the planet, and Qui-Gon suspected he was merely stalling for time to sort the matter out in his head.  
"I am a Jedi Master," The judge and the soldiers exchanged glances, and Qui-Gon wondered briefly if that had been the right thing to say, "My apprentice and I were escorting a Senator to his home planet when we had a disagreement. My apprentice left, and I am searching for him. I did not mean to intrude on your land or your way of life, and I apologize for any difficulties my presence is causing." He looked the judge straight in the eye as he spoke, hoping to convince him that he posed no threat.  
"I can personally assure you that your apprentice has not landed on this planet. If we can be of any assistance in finding him, let us know, and we will provide whatever help we can," Qui-Gon was confused. The planet was known for discouraging visitors, and the things the soldiers had said only increased his suspicion that, had they found Obi-Wan, they might already have killed him.  
"Well, I suppose you could start by unbinding me," Qui-Gon's voice was light, almost joking, not belaying the desperation he felt. He wanted, no needed to contact his Padawan, to make certain that he was alright, which he could not do with the Force repellant ropes on.  
The judge looked embarrassed. "Unbind that man at once! What were you thinking, treating a guest of the palace in such a manner?" The soldier to his right quickly unbound his hands, folding the rope up and fastening it to his belt. Qui-Gon felt carefully along the bond he shared with Obi-Wan, and was surprised to find that his Padawan seemed fine. OBI-WAN? CAN YOU HEAR ME?His mental voice was tentative. Despite their earlier conversation, he wasn't certain whether or not his Padawan was still angry with him for his callous behavior on the ship. Regardless of Obi-Wan's feelings towards him, he was determined to get the boy off planet as soon as possible, even if that meant dropping him off at the first inhabited space port they passed. He considered the planet dangerous, and whether or not Obi-Wan wanted to have anything to do with him, he wouldn't leave the boy in such peril.  
I'M RIGHT HERE MAS-QUI-GON. A FARMER PICKED ME UP, AND I'M STAYING ON HIS FARM.The boy sounded hesitant, almost as if he were unsure why Qui-Gon was questioning him. Qui-Gon noticed that Obi-Wan had avoided the term 'Master' and wondered why. Was it because he was unsure of his place, or because he no longer wanted it? Qui-Gon hoped it was the former, and was fully prepared to show the boy exactly where his place was, but he feared, in light of recent events, that the latter was the case. He wouldn't force his Padawan, but there was one way to know for sure.  
PADAWAN, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?Qui-Gon hoped that the boy would either be calmed by the mention of his title, which had, over the years, become something of an affectionate nickname, and held his breath as he waited for the boy's angry insistence that he was no longer the man's apprentice. DON'T CALL ME THAT!.Obi-Wan's voice was choked with tears. Qui-Gon's heart broke at that statement. He had lost him. His little boy no longer wanted him around, and he knew, hard as it would be, that he was going to have to accept it. The boy's next words took him by surprise. I DON'T DESERVE THE TITLE.The voice was so quite Qui-Gon almost wondered if he'd really heard it, but Obi-Wan continued. I FAILED YOU. I BEHAVED IN A MANNER UNBECOMING OF A JEDI, AND THEN I RAN AWAY. BEFORE THAT, I LIED TO YOU AND BETRAYED YOUR TRUST. YOU DON'T NEED A PADAWAN LIKE ME. GO FIND SOMEONE WORTHY. I'LL STAY HERE AND WORK AS A FARM HAND.  
NO! PADAWAN NO! YOU DID NOT FAIL ME. YOU ARGUED WITH ME. THERE IS A DIFFERNECE. YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO SPEAK TO ME THE WAY YOU DID, BUT I REACTED BADLY. THIS MESS SHOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN THIS FAR OUT OF HAND. WE SHOULD HAVE TALKED THINGS OUT INSTEAD OF FIGHTING AND RUNNING AWAY. I'M COMING TO GET YOU AND WE'RE GOING HOME RIGHT NOW.  
  
Obi-Wan was horrified. His Master wanted to bring him back to the Temple. /I WONDER IF HE'LL SEND ME TO A SOUL HEALER OR JUST HAVE ME FORMALLY KICKED OUT../ The thought of either option made Obi-Wan cringe. /I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT. I CAN'T GO BACK! I CAN'T!!/ To Qui-Gon, he responded NO!He would not go back. He wasn't a Jedi anymore and he knew it. His old Master had no right and no reason to order him to return to the Temple. There was nothing left for him there. He quickly closed his end of the link, erecting shields to prevent Qui-Gon from attempting to continue the conversation. He wanted to go back more than he'd ever wanted anything in his entire life, wanted his master to want him back, to, dare he even think it, love him again. He knew that whatever chance he'd had of fixing things between them had vanished the second he'd left, and that wishful thinking couldn't bring it back, but he couldn't quite bring himself to admit that the whole mess wasn't some terrible nightmare. He was still almost certain he would wake up soon, safe in his bed on the ship, and that everything would be okay again. He could fix the gap forming between himself and his Master, and everything would be okay again. Sadly, it wasn't a dream, and he had lost all hope of bridging that ever-widening gap.  
"You okay there Ben?" Jo-am's wife Ki-Key addressed him using the nickname their young daughter had inadvertently given him. To young to pronounce his name, she had called him "O'Bin" and the name had stuck.  
"I'm okay," Obi-Wan forced a smile, trying to convince his kind hostess that nothing was wrong, "My old Master and I have this mind link, and we were talking."  
She looked startled. "You looked like you were in pain. If it hurts that much to use the link, maybe you shouldn't even try," She sounded motherly and concerned, and Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile sadly as he shook his head.  
"It doesn't hurt. The conversation we were having was rather," he paused, looking for a word, "difficult. Actually, it's been a long time since a conversation with my Master was anything but difficult." He looked down at his hands as he spoke. The original rift between the two had partially been of his own making, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Qui-Gon had been like a father to him, and losing him was a bitter blow.  
"Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes telling people these things makes it feel better," Her voice was full of sympathy, and Obi-Wan felt bad for worrying her.  
"It's a rather long story," he said, meaning of course, that it was too long and dull and that she wouldn't want to hear it, but Ki-Key was having none of that.  
"I have time. You can help me peel the vegetables while we talk," she sat down beside him, placing a basket at their feet and handing him a knife, "Now why don't you start by telling me how this trouble with your Master got started?" Seeing that she wouldn't take no for an answer, Obi- Wan began his tale.  
  
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